


Talk To Me

by vsky949



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Falling In Love, Love, M/M, Relationship(s), Romance, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-05-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 05:43:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/707193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vsky949/pseuds/vsky949
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a prompt I got, which was to write a oneshot of a Zniam love triangle. I didnt know how to make it short, so I decided to make it into a chaptered fic. I know it’s not that descriptive and it’s short but it’s just a little background to set up the mood and story I guess. This was inspired by a lot of things so you might see things that correlate to other fics or stuff like that in it. A basic plot of this story is Liam and Niall had a bad relationship and Liam has dealt with it by hurting himself. Ironically, his job is a therapist. Harry is his boss and he asks Liam to hang out and kind of show the ropes to his son, Zayn, who wants to start working with them. They become good friends. Then Niall meets Zayn and stuff happens between the three of them.  
> Hope you like it. :)

**_Prologue_ **

All Liam wanted was to forget. Forget about all the pain he went through. Forget about the wasted time he spent. Forget about the tears he shed. Sometimes he felt as if his world was closing in and any minute now he’d fall. He would wake up hyperventilating and wish for it to all end.

He needed it to end.

Liam wondered if it was the same for Niall. Did he feel sorry about what happened? Did he ever spend sleepless nights thinking about their relationship? Did he ever feel like his world was caving in?

Liam doubted it.

If Liam’s past is any indication, Niall is probably out clubbing, drinking, banging strangers; anything his heart desires really. Because that is just the way Niall is now.

Liam still doesn’t understand why he stayed with him for so long.

3 years it was. 3 years of hurt and pain and torture. Maybe what they say is right; maybe love does make you blind. Except Liam wasn’t sure if what they had was love. It might have felt like it at first, with all the lovingness Niall showed him. 

Niall practically showered him with such care and thoughtfulness in the beginning of their relationship. Liam used to sleep every night with a smile on his face, wondering what he did to deserve someone as amazing as Niall. Liam remembers those days. They are forever engraved in his mind to remind him never to be so naïve.

But what hurts the most for Liam, is that no matter how much he analyses, he can never pinpoint the exact point when everything went south.

One day, he and Niall were snuggling on their couch, perfectly content with each other. The next day, Niall didn’t show up until 5 a.m., alcohol reeking through his clothing and unrecognizable lovebites on him. When Liam asked him the afternoon of, Niall didn’t answer with his mouth. He crossed the line and laid his hands on Liam. He slapped him and walked away, absolutely no apology leaving his mouth.

Liam still asks himself why he didn’t leave just then. But nope, Liam stayed, hoping Niall’s behavior was a one-time thing and the loving Niall would come back.

However it soon proved that was not the case.

The coldness continued, the beating continued; everything Liam never wanted was being presented. But being the caring person he was, he felt like he couldn’t leave Niall. What is Niall was going through something? Some kind of rough patch? What kind of person would Liam be if he left Niall alone when he needed him?

Liam feels dumb for not walking out then. However, he feels even dumber not leaving the first time the blade cut though his skin. It was a sign; the situation was too much. It had gone too far and Liam knew. Instead of seeing it as a reason to escape, he felt it as an escape. He finally found something to release his internal pain. Although it was technically more pain being inflicted to him, it brought some pain out as well, instead of it all being pounded into him.

Liam felt this was needed pain. He obviously was doing something wrong if Niall’s feelings for him changed so drastically. Now his pain and insecurities were being taken out. They might end up coming back, but those moments granted him moments of bliss in his now messed up life. They welcome him into sensations of dullness, of blankness; of nothingness. And Liam felt like that was all he needed.

It was all he deserved, his brain told him.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here’s the first chapter. Not much interesting things happening but they’ll pick up soon. Hope you enjoy. :)

**_ One _ **

The need to pee and his phone ringing loudly on his nightstand were the main reasons why Liam woke up. The light outside was still dark, letting Liam know he really did work too early for his likings. Slowly, he unwrapped himself from his comfortable duvet and stumbled over to his bathroom. With a look at his tired face, a shower sounded more than appropriate.

Taking a shower was one of Liam’s favorite and least favorite things to do.

He loved taking showers because they gave me a moment to relax and let the water drive away the tension in his body. He loved just standing underneath the hot water and singing along to whatever songs were shuffling through his phone.

However, showers also caused Liam enormous amounts of pain. All he had to do was look down at himself and all the hatred would just surfaced through. Liam would see the fading scars in his body and how ugly they made him look. The anger would bubble up more and before he knew what he was doing, the razor blade would already be in his hand and blood would be oozing down the drain. He knew he should stop; that it just made him more unattractive adding more scars, but it made him feel so good.

Liam took a deep breath, the one that has become routine as he goes into the shower. He has no desire to cut today, especially now when he has to go to work in 20 minutes. So he showered fast, trying to avoid as much contact with himself as possible. He gets out quickly and returns to his room to put on the outfit he laid out the night before. Although it was getting warmer out, he could not wear a short sleeve shirt without his coworkers being nosy or getting the concerned look from Harry, which he has been receiving since Louis told him the night Liam showed up to their apartment, drunk out of his mind on what would’ve been Niall’s and his 4 year anniversary.

Louis was Liam’s best friend, since he cornered Liam in lunch on their first day of middle school and told him he had nice hair, and then proceeded to steal Liam’s fries from his tray. Liam was scared of him, but Louis soon proved his overfriendliness to everyone and Liam couldn’t deny the fondness Louis gave off. Liam was so sure after one in counter with Louis that he was made with a mixture of rainbows and fairy dust, just by the way he seemed to light up any room he was in. (It was only ironic when he told Liam he was also gay.)

Louis was the first person who knew about Liam’s problems with Niall and now Liam’s problems with himself. He was also the person who convinced Liam to talk to his mother about it. Although he could be very childish and immature, Louis was always there to listen to Liam and offer him a shoulder to cry on.

That’s why when Liam was hired for his first job as a therapist and became good friends with his boss, Harry Styles, Liam knew he had to introduce him to Louis. Being friends with Louis for so long, Liam knew the kind of guy he fell for, and there was no doubt in his mind that Harry was his soul mate. And he was proven correct when they couldn’t take their eyes of each other the whole night long. Luckily Liam left early before they started making out, which Louis was so  _nice_  to describe in  _full detail_  to him the next day. So with an honest plead from Louis, Liam agreed to let Harry know his secret as well.

That’s how Liam only trusts 3 people in his life; his mother, because she gave birth to him and always knows what to say even when he’s too hotheaded to hear it, Louis, because he was there to compliment his hair when he was happy and he’s still here complimenting his hair when he’s scared, and Harry, because sticking his tongue down his best friend’s throat was Liam’s making and Louis couldn’t be happier.

—

The trees were swaying lightly in the early morning breeze as Liam made his way inside the building to his practice. The building itself is big; big enough so each therapists shared a floor with only one other person. Liam’s floor was the 4th floor and he shared it with Harry. At first he was unsure but because they had gotten along so well right of the bat, Harry insisted and Liam couldn’t deny. Plus, Liam usually had clients to worry about so it’s not like he can actually be interrupted by Harry much.

Liam knows it is very hypocritical of him to be a therapist, seeing as he hasn’t gone to a professional for his own problems. But that is the reason he is a therapist. Seeing and hearing about someone else having the same, or sometimes worse, case as him made him feel better about himself. According to Louis, that wasn’t very admirable of him but to Liam it as reasonable. He liked the thought that someone came to him for help and that he could help them. If he could help someone else it would kind of make up for not helping himself, wouldn’t it?

“No, Liam, it doesn’t.” Louis always tells him. So Liam has gotten used to ignoring him.

As Liam opened the door to his office, he froze when he saw Harry sleeping on the couch for his patients. Unsure of whether to wake him or not, he quietly made his way to his desk and sat down. He pulled out the appointment sheet from his briefcase and was about to look at it when Harry shifted in his sleep, a little too much to the left, and ended up falling on the floor. Although for normal workers, it would be unethical to laugh at their bosses, Liam did just that.

As he laughed Harry stood up, brushed off his suit, and fixed his hair. “Okay, that’s enough Liam. I don’t personally appreciate people laughing at my expense.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “You mean to tell me that Louis the joker has never laughed at you?”

Harry smirked. “Louis is pretty much the exception to everything.”

Liam nodded. “Of course. Anyways, mind telling me what you are doing sleeping in my office Mr. Styles?”

Harry laughed. “First of all, stop with the professionalism. I think once we both have seen each other passed out drunk, we instantly become best friends. Second of all, I was here because I came to ask you something. However, you still hadn’t arrived and since this couch looked rather lonely, I decided to fix that.”

“Oh, okay then. So what did you want to ask me?”

“Well,” Harry started, “as you know, I had a girlfriend prior whom I had a son with? He was living with her but we still maintain close contact with each other. He is interested in this type of work and wanted to know if he could get a job with me if he moved. Now, even though he’s my son, you know it’s my policy that a new employee must intern before working here so I can see how they work with the patients and pressure. So, I was wondering if it would be okay with you if when he interned, he shadowed you. You are one of the best workers here and I know you can show him the ropes. Plus, I also think you two would get on well.” Harry smiled. “So, what do you think?”

Liam sighed and tried his best to look uninterested. “Of course not Harry, I would never agree to such a horrible option.” He smiled even though his sarcasm was noticeable. “Of course Harry. I’d love to help out your son. I’m sure he’s a great guy and will get along well here.”

“Thanks Liam, that really puts me at ease to know he’ll be working with you. I’ll let him know it is all set up. He’ll probably start working with us, if possible, tomorrow, if not in the next couple of days.”

Liam nodded in acknowledgement. “Sounds great.”

Harry reached over the desk and gave Liam a hug. “Awesome. Okay well I have to go finish off some things but I’ll talk to you later. Still on for drinks later at our house right?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Oh! Maybe Zayn can go and you’ll be able to meet him before the internship. We’ll see how the plans work out.”

As Harry walked away, he yelled out a few more thanks. Liam laughed and prepared his notebook for his first client; a girl named Camile who had been suffering from anorexia and was on the stage of recovering.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life

_Chapter Two_

Liam sighed as he walked down the street. Louis had come over to his house and ate all his food by the time he got back home from work. When Liam asked him what he was doing at his house, Louis said he came to inform him drinks were moved from Harry and his house to the bar 3 blocks from Liam’s.

“And what does that have to do with you eating my food? Why didn’t Harry just tell me at work?”

“Because I told him I would personally come tell you. And what, do you just expect me to wait for you here, not knowing how long you’d be without any food!?” Louis puts a hand over his chest and sighs dramatically. “I thought you knew me better than that Liam, I honestly did.”

Liam just rolled his eyes and grabbed the nearest pillow, chucking it straight at Louis’ head. “What time are we meeting?”

“Seven,” Louis says as he grabs hold of the pillow Liam abused him with and props his head up. “It’s barely 5:30, come snuggle!”

Liam sighs but shuffles his way over before dropping and curling into Louis side. “I have to take a shower and go grocery shopping.”

Ignoring his excuses, Louis wraps his arm around Liam’s shoulders and rubs circles on them. “Okay,” is all he complies with.

So after cuddling with Louis for about half an hour, Louis stood up and said he had to go pick up Harry from work. Liam took it as an opening and said he would drop him off, and then he’d go to the grocery store right by work to pick up food.

“Which you all ate.” Liam informed Louis.

Louis knocked his shoulder against Liam and replied, “Hey I did you a favor. You needed new food anyways.”

They got into the car and Liam drove off. The practice was very close to Liam’s house, something Liam was extremely happy with when his car wouldn’t start or he woke up later. In a couple of minutes they’re there.

“Thanks Liam.” Louis gives him a hug and kisses his right cheek. Then, as routine, he takes both of Liam’s arms and kisses the palm of each hand. While his lips are on his hands, he puts his pointer finger up Liam’s long sleeve and runs it down his arm, where all his cuts usually are. “No fresh ones.” He says as he takes his finger out. He grabs Liam’s face and leaves a wet kiss on it. “That’s my LiLi.” He smiles at Liam and gets out of the car.

After dropping off Louis, Liam drove to the grocery store. He didn’t mean to stay for long but the mom of one of his past patients saw him and took that time to talk to her about what was going on in her life. She finally left after Liam walked her to her car and assured her his door was always open for her to come and chat.

Liam made it to his house with five minutes before his set time to go meet Harry and Louis. He decided to skip his planned shower, seeing as he took one this morning, and just go straight to the bar. Liam dropped the groceries on the table, made sure everything was off, and headed down the street. Although he could take his car if he wanted to, walking there seemed like a fine idea.

Or technically in his case, running.

Liam knew it wasn’t necessary to run to the pub. Harry and Louis are always late and even if they were already there, they would just order drinks, go dance, or have a quickie in the bathroom before Liam even showed up. However, Liam had his stupid morals and knowing he was now ten minutes late made him a little anxious.

When he finally got sight of the pub, he slowed down to a speed walk. As he was about to open the door, someone was coming out and tripped onto him. Liam automatically outstretched his arms to hold the man up.

“Woah are you okay?” Liam asked.

The stranger stood up, his hands holding onto Liam’s biceps for leverage. He stood straight and shook his head, his black hair swaying a bit with the movement. He turned to look at Liam and Liam’s breath hitched a bit. Luckily it seemed to go unnoticeable.

Liam could tell before the brown eyes looked at his that the guy was attractive. His hair was swooned downwards into a cute do and his gray T-shirt hugged his thin structure, only made more noticeable by the tight jeans. He had on a black sweater with the sleeves rolled up to about his elbows. He was a bit darker skin and it made his eyes pop out more.

Liam adores eyes, having to look at Louis’ blue ones and Harry’s green ones all the time, so brown eyes hadn’t ever really caught his attention much. However, the stranger’s eyes were a light brown, leaning more towards hazel. They seemed plain; like his own. However they also seemed soft. Soft isn’t necessarily a good description for eyes, but that’s what these looked like; soft and cuddly and warm.

Liam was so busy staring at the person in front of him, he didn’t realize he was talking ‘till the man broke out into a soft smile, hinting almost a smirk, and untangled his body out of Liam’s arms which were still around him.

Liam coughed and apologized quickly.

The stranger just laughed and shook his head lightly, almost adoringly it seemed. “It’s okay mate, don’t worry about it. I don’t know if you heard me or not, you seemed like you were somewhere else for a moment, but, umm, thanks for helping me up. And sorry I crashed into you.”

Liam smiled. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going either. Was kind of speeding up here too.” Liam furrowed his eyebrows slightly as he asked, “Did you need to go somewhere? You seemed in a rush. Sorry if I’m keeping you.”

The stranger shook his head. “It’s fine don’t worry. It’s not your fault; it was mine for not watching out. But yeah, I should probably be leaving now.” It seemed as the man was almost reluctant to leave, drawing out his sentences and slowly putting on a gray beanie, the same shade as his T-shirt, on his head. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked up at Liam again. He smiled at him, very nice and genuine, and it made Liam’s heart flutter slightly but he quickly dismissed it, seeing as he didn’t even know this person before five minutes ago. “Sorry again for crashing into you. See ya later.” He turned around and started walking down the street.

“Okay. See ya.” Liam called out quietly. As the guy reached the corner, he turned and looked back to where Liam still was and winked at him before ducking his head and going out of sight. Liam led out a breath and shook his head, trying to get rid of the thoughts on the beautiful face he just saw. He grabbed the handle of the door and pulled it open, walking in to the bar.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the third chapter. I forced myself to write this one with the little amount of time I had so it’s not necessarily the best and it’s still kind of slow but it’ll start picking up in the next couple chapters. Please like and all that beautiful stuff, it would mean a lot. Thanks loveliesss. xx  
> Btw, the song Liam was listening to in the shower is Hear Me by Imagine Dragons. <3 In case you were wondering.

** Chapter Three **

So as it had turned out, Liam didn’t get to meet Zayn. Apparently he had been at the bar but had to leave about as soon as getting there for something. Liam didn’t want to pry and he was sure everything would be fine when he met him today at work.

He was a little nervous though.

Zayn seemed like a great guy; both Louis and Harry reassured him. Of course Harry is his father so he isn’t necessarily the best for an opinion, but Louis definitely is. Louis is no fool. If someone is a jerk or dick, Louis says it. Maybe not in front of Harry but he’d send Liam signals; ones that only he knew through their long years of friendship.

Throughout the night however, Liam never received any of them. All Louis did was nod his head and agree with the notions of Zayn’s great personality. So, Liam could tell they would get along.

But Liam is a bit shy. He liked meeting new people and human interaction, but he just felt like he’d mess up. He didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Zayn.

Liam knew it would all be fine but he was still a little nervous when he woke up that day. Reluctantly, he got out of bed and headed for a shower.

Although he tried again this morning, his body was reluctant to agree. After getting into the shower, he grabbed the razor in his cabinet. He took a deep breath as he aligned it on a part of skin on his arm. He added pressure to it and soon, the blood started pouring out.

At first instinct, Liam felt like blocking the cut where the blood was flowing because of the sting. But Liam knew it would get off soon. He took deep breaths and soon the stinging became more tolerable. With another breath, he aligned it to a part of skin, a little lower than where he first cut, and did it again.

He did this a couple more times before he felt like it was enough. He let the water rinse of the blood, the drain showing a tint of red. Liam watched it swirl around until it turned clear and only water was going down.

After the last drops coming out of his cuts stopped all together, he continued to actually shower. The stinging hurt when he paid attention, so he tried his best to take it out of his mind. He sang the random songs that came to his head to distract himself from the pain that came.

_“Can nobody hear me?_

_I’ve got a lot that’s on my mind._

_I cannot breathe_

_Can you heart it too?”_

—

Liam didn’t realize it was him until they came face to face. He was walking to work, his briefcase in one hand and cup of coffee in the other. He was turning the corner when he noticed someone was walking in front of him. Liam didn’t think of it much, as any morning in the London streets were busy. He took a sip from his coffee and kept walking. He didn’t notice the man in front had stopped until Liam crashed into him. He quickly took a step back and let the coffee that spilled go down his chin, trying to get the least amount as possible on his shirt. He set the briefcase down on the floor and used that hand to wipe the coffee from his face and flick it to the ground.

“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry mate.” The man said. Liam looked up, ready to wave off the man’s apology when he noticed who he was.

Liam smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay mate. Guess you got me back for yesterday huh?”

The man’s eyes moved to stare at his face, his eyebrows furrowed. When he got glimpse of Liam’s face, he smiled. “Oh! You’re the guy from the pub right?”

Liam smiled and extended his hand. “Liam.”

The man smiled and took a hold of Liam’s hand with a strong grip. “Zayn.”

They held such strong eye contact that Liam forgot about their hands. Zayn’s eyes crinkled up a little when he smiled and dropped his hand. Liam blushed as he pulled his back.

“Anyways,” Zayn said, “sorry for running into you. Again.”

Liam shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. I should’ve seen where I was walking.”

Zayn didn’t say anything, just nodded his head. After a moment of silence, he nodded to Liam’s briefcase still on the ground. “Where were you headed?”

Bending down to retrieve it, he answered “work. How about you?”

“Same.” Zayn answered. “What way?”

Liam pointed to the direction he was heading. Zayn smiled and told him he was headed that way as well.

“Mind if I walk with you?”

Liam shook his head and gestured for Zayn to show the way. Zayn winked at him before starting off. They had mindless chatter and Liam was surprised they were still walking together. He had to take a couple turns but Zayn never complained or excused himself to go the other way. Liam thought it was weird he had never seen him if they worked around the same area. But either way, he didn’t speak up, glad to have Zayn’s company with him.

A little too quickly for Liam’s liking, he spotted his practice. Liam heard Zayn sigh under his breath and smiled inwardly, hoping Zayn was reluctant to leave his presence as well.

“And we have arrived.” They both said in unison. They looked at each other before chuckling.

“Where is yours?” Liam asked. Zayn looked and pointed to a building; one that looked just like Liam’s.

‘ _Wait, that is mine!’_ Liam thought.

“You work there!?” Liam asked, disbelief in his voice.

Zayn nodded. “Yeah, it’s my first day. Well, I’m kind of interning but it’s part of the job requirement, so I’ll be working properly in a bit.”

Liam searched Zayn’s eyes until suddenly, all the pieces fit and he slapped his forehead with his hand for being so stupid. “Oh my gosh. I am such an idiot.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

Liam ignored his question. “Zayn Malik right?”

“Yeah.” Zayn answered, still confused. “Wait, how do you know my last name?”

“I’m Liam Payne; the guy you’re going to be assisting.”

Zayn’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re Liam!? My dad’s worker and Louis’ best friend?”

Liam laughed. “Yupp, that’s me.”

“Wow.” Zayn said, “The irony.”

Liam nodded his head in agreement. He and Zayn walked into the building then, still laughing over the weird turn of events. They went up the elevator, where Zayn stayed close to Liam’s side and Liam tried his best to not be flustered up, only partially succeeding.

He was barely putting the keys to unlock his door when it was opened from Harry instead.

“Morning Liam!” Harry cried out happily. He hugged him tight and pulled him inside the room, not noticing Zayn on the other side.

“Harry, you need to stop coming into my office without permission.”

Harry scoffed. “You do realize I’m the boss don’t you?”

Zayn snickered as he walked in the room and Harry turned around, finally acknowledging his presence. “So bossy aren’t you huh dad?”

“Only when he feels like it does he use his power.” Liam said. Zayn laughed and lifted his hand, gesturing Liam for a high five.

Harry just chuckled lightly, noticing the interaction between Zayn and Liam. “So I’m guessing you guys have properly met already?”

Zayn nodded at Harry and, when he thought Harry wasn’t looking, winked at Liam again, earning another blush from Liam. This was the most blushing Liam had done in less than hour his whole life.

He was brought out of his daze when Harry addressed him.

“Well I’m glad you have met Zayn and I don’t have to do the introductions now. Anyways, have fun today and I’ll be down the hall if you need me.” Harry said. He patted Zayn on the shoulder and walked away. He stopped when he reached the door and turned to face Zayn and Liam again. “By the way, Louis is going to join us for lunch okay? It’ll be like a double date.”

He winked at Liam. Liam was about to tell Harry to stop being an ass when Zayn spoke up.

“Yeah, sounds great dad. See you guys then.”

Harry looked a little taken aback by Zayn’s confidence to the dating reference. Knowing his son, he sent him a cheeky smile and left, not wanting to say anything else.

He preferred to let Zayn work on it himself and seduce Liam, the way Harry could tell he was already doing.


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update but I had family stuff going on. This isn't the best chapter but it's setting up the idea behind Zayn/Liam's relationship. The next chapter is going to be the climax of the story I suppose and I'm (finally) in spring break so I should, hopefully, be updating sooner.  
> Please Kudo/Bookmark and all the good stuff if you like, it would mean a lot.  
> Hope you enjoy it. :)

** Chapter Four **

“Wow, so it’s been a year for her now?” Zayn asked.

Liam nodded. “Yeah, she hasn’t cut for a year after having done it for six years, straight after she ran away from home.”

Leslie, Liam’s longest and most beloved patient came today for her appointment, both worried and proud for her year anniversary of staying clean. She had been seeing Liam for about two years and half now, after her best friend walked in on her and practically shoved her inside his door. She had been very reserved for the first couple of sessions, never answering any of Liam’s questions and sending him evil glares; something Liam was already used to from his other patients.

Just like the others though, soon her vulnerability played out and she spilled everything to him; her feelings of worthlessness, not belonging, wanting to die. Although most people would have sat there and told her not to feel this way and that she shouldn’t burden herself with this unnecessary pain, Liam didn’t. He knew better from experience; both therapeutic and personal. He just let her get it all out, every emotion that she carefully bottled up and kept away from the world, until she was a blubbering mess. After she finished and looked Liam in the eyes for the first time, the words he said to her where simple. “Would you like a tissue? Or have you not quite finished?” Something that no one would really think deep hit her like a train; it was okay to cry because this is why she was here. Getting it out never seemed like an option for her, yet here she was and instead of getting pitiful looks from Liam, he simply asked her if she had more left.

Ever since that moment, she started coming in more and more and everyday released new burdens towards Liam. That’s why Liam felt such a connection to her; knowing she dealt with the same he did yet she found a way to break out of it. He saw the potential in her for greatness and knew that she could do anything she wanted now. That’s why he made her promise, although it was a long stretch, to not cut anymore.

And she has kept her promise.

“It seems like she’s really close to you.” Zayn remarked from in between bites of his muffin.

Liam smiled and played with the edges of his sandwich. “Yeah, she’s a lovely girl. She had some real problems, her friend warned me, yet she seemed like all she really needed was to get it out. It’s hard to know how to get through to someone because everything is so different with every person. But, I don’t know, it was all kind of instinctual. I know you probably heard this when you were in school, I know I did, but I never actually believed, but you really do understand more when you have a connection to them. Sometimes you don’t even realize something is there but the moment she was brought to me and stood there, arms crossed and eyebrows knitted in what could only be called fury, I just _knew_ that if I couldn’t help her, I wouldn’t be able to stand it.

And I’m glad I did. After she explained everything to me, you could notice how her posture straightened from the entire burden she was carrying. I mean you just met her now and in all honesty, if she hadn’t told you her story herself, would you have believed everything she went through?”

“No,” Zayn honestly answered, “I don’t think I would have. She seems so happy and down to earth. I never would imagine someone like her having gone through it all. It’s remarkable.”

“It really is.”

They sat in comfortable silence after this. Harry had texted Liam, saying he was going to go pick up Louis before coming to lunch, so Zayn and Liam decided to head by themselves anyways.

“It looks like you are really connected with her.” Zayn commented, breaking the little bit of silence that had engulfed them.

“Yeah, years of practice I suppose.” Liam answered.

Although what Liam said was true, it wasn’t the complete truth. In all honesty, Leslie was his hero. She went through so much in her life; beat, raped, mistreated, yet she was able to put everything behind her and stop hurting herself, even if she felt it had helped her release that built of frustration. She went through so much, more than Liam had, yet she was able to stop. Although very admirable, if Liam was being honest, it made him feel a bit worse about himself.

Here Leslie was, stronger than ever before, working to get her life back on track. Then there was Liam, a man harming himself over emotions he could never control. In his eyes, he showed himself he was weak. But at the same time, he loved knowing Leslie was getting better; he wasn’t heartless. Now, he had someone to look up to. Knowing he helped her get back to her life boosted his self-esteem. Knowing she was happy made him believe one day, he could be happy. It’s not enough to make him stop, but it does help him dream about it one day.

Suddenly Zayn’s voice cut his train of thought. “Yeah, I’m sure.” Liam might have been imagining but he felt like there were almost threads of suspicion in Zayn’s voice. _Hmm._ “I hope I can be that helpful to patients when I start working properly.”

“I thought you did very well with Leslie today. Honestly.” Liam remarked.

Zayn blushed, a lovely pink grazing his cheeks. “Thank you.”

They smiled at each other and kept eating. They were half way through with their meals when Harry and Louis finally walked in, hand in hand and big, cheeky smiles on their faces.

“Hey guys.” Louis said, hugging Liam and nodding in Zayn’s direction. “Sorry we’re late, we had stuff to handle.” He winked at Harry.

“Ewww,” Zayn groaned, “That’s my dad Louis!”

Harry laughed, tapping Zayn’s leg. “Have you guys been here long?” Zayn shook his head. “Okay. Well we’re going to go order.” With that they left to the counter and came back in ten minutes, a donut and coffee in both of their hands.

“So,” Louis started when they sat down, “how was your first day at work Zayn?”

“It was good. Liam’s patients were really nice.”

Harry nodded. “I knew putting you with Liam would be a great idea.” A cheeky smile formed on his lips as he gave Liam a stare that made him blush, for a reason unknown to him.

“Have you met anyone _nice?”_ Louis asked, emphasizing the word nice with a wink.

Zayn laughed. “Yeah there are some nice people I met. Some more likeable than others.” Although he was answering Louis, his eyes met Liam’s and he winked, outwardly in front of Harry and Louis who snickered at Liam’s blush.

“Well,” Louis remarked, “looks like you guys are a little closer than we thought.”

Liam was about to interrupt when Zayn said, “yeah we’ll see about that in a while I suppose.” Liam stared at him, shock present in his features. Zayn had this confident type of demeanor around himself yet Liam never imagined him being so upfront about things.

Louis chuckled. “Cheeky Zayn, I think we are going to get on very well.”

Lunch carried on like that the rest of the day; simple chatting, followed by cheeky remarks, mostly to Liam, and it seemed as though the blush on Liam’s face was permanently etched to his features every time Zayn even did things as simple as say his name.

Liam knew life was going to get more complicated but he couldn’t tell if he was going to welcome it or not.


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am deeply sorry it took me longer to update this chapter. I was kind of in a rut deciding on how I wanted this chapter go and play out. It’s longer than the rest and the drama is built up here as this is the climax of the story. I hope you guys like it and hopefully it makes up for the wait? Love you guys thank you. xx

** Chapter 5 **

“Liam!” Zayn called out, making Liam twist his head around.

After lunch, Louis had made plans for all of them to go have a drink later at night. Liam was a little apprehensive at first but Harry gave him his famous puppy eyes and Zayn placed his hand on Liam’s arm, rubbing it up and down, making all of his hairs stand up. So he agreed at the end.

Just like the rest of the times, Liam got here on time while the rest of the boys were not in sight. He had been standing by the bar for the last couple of minutes, sipping on his coke, while he waited for someone to appear.

And that’s when Zayn’s voice rang through.

“Have you been here long?” He shouted above the noise from the club.

Liam shook his head. “No, just got here a couple minutes ago.” Zayn nodded his head and took a sip of a beer in his hand. “When did you order?” Liam questioned.  “I didn’t see you and I’ve been standing here the whole time.

Zayn laughed and scooted over so his body was closer to Liam’s, using the music as an excuse for the closeness. “The DJ over there is an old friend of mine. So I got here a while ago to talk to him. I was going to come when I saw you walk in but this guy pulled me out to dance and wouldn’t let me go.”

A sudden rush of jealousy rushed through Liam, making him hold his drink a little tighter than usual. “You should’ve just punched him or something. I would’ve.” He mumbled.

Zayn looked at him and chuckled. “It’s okay, Li. It was just a dance.” He pressed up to Liam’s side and whispered in his ear. “I thought about you the whole time anyways.”

Liam couldn’t help the blush that overtook him. Knowing this was his chance to flirt back, he wrapped his arm around Zayn’s waist and turned his body so they were facing each other. “Maybe later you can show me how you would’ve responded if it was me?” His confidence doubled when he noted the shock in Zayn’s eyes and the blush forming in his cheeks, probably unknown to him.

He was about to make another cheeky comment when a loud voice interrupted him; one that he knew from all his nightmares.

“Oy, there you are hot stuff. Why’d you leave so early?” Niall said, bumping into Liam and staring right at Zayn.

Zayn rolled his eyes, staying close to Liam. “Sorry love, didn’t really feel like dancing anymore.” His eyes looked at Liam’s, silently mentioning the ‘ _with you’_ that Liam knew he wanted to mention.

Niall followed Zayn’s gaze, finally realizing it was Liam next to him. “Oh my God! Please don’t tell me you’re here with Liam, of all people?”

Liam’s hand clenched in a fist and his eyes darkened in hatred. “Hi to you too Niall.”

Zayn looked between them. “You two know each other?”

Liam answered before Niall could. “Unfortunately.”

Niall smirked. “That’s my line Liam. Don’t think you should be saying it.”

Liam closed his eyes, hoping the desire to punch Niall straight in the face would just pass by.

Zayn stood straight, annoyed at Niall’s cocky demeanor. “Can I help you with something else because if not I’d like it if you left us alone.”

Niall turned to face Zayn. “Oh c’mon babe,” he said reaching towards Zayn, “don’t be like that. I thought we were having fun?”

Before Zayn could respond, Liam put down his drink, tightened his hold on Zayn, and pulled him away from Niall’s reach.

Niall turned to glare at him. “Stay out of this Payne, no one wants you here anyways.”

Although Liam knew Niall was just cold, he couldn’t help but feel hurt at his first ever love’s voice. He knew he shouldn’t let Niall get to him but deep down, he couldn’t help think it was true. His arm started to twitch, urging the feeling of a blade cutting his skin to make contact again.

Zayn could see the hurt that flashed through Liam, no matter how much he tried to hide it. He used his hand to take Liam’s arm off of his waist, but made sure to intertwine their fingers in front of Niall’s face. He smiled when he noticed the hints of anger and jealousy pass through his eyes.

“Sorry, but I know I place where I’d like him to be. Excuse us.” He made sure to bump his shoulder past Niall’s and pulled Liam to the dance floor. He let go of his hand and wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck. Liam stood there for a beat before letting his hands snake around Zayn’s waist and pull him close, their foreheads resting against each other.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, breath hitting Zayn’s mouth.

Zayn smiled. “Hey he was an asshole. How do you even know someone like that?”

“He’s an ex.” Liam sighed.

Zayn’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean you dealt with someone like that?”

“He wasn’t as bad at first.” Liam shrugged, unsure why he was even defending the devil of Niall. Maybe it was because Niall really was his first ever love, but the pain given to him would never not be the biggest thing in their past relationship.

“Well,” Zayn said, rubbing the tips of his fingertips to the back of Liam’s neck, turning his thoughts back to the present. “I’m glad you guys are over.”

Liam smiled, tightening his hold on Zayn. “Hmm, really?”

“Yeah,” Zayn smirked, “because then doing this would be unethical.” He winked at Liam before reaching up to touch his lips to Liam’s. Liam gasped slightly but recovered almost instantly, the need to reciprocate overpowering him. He stretched his fingers on Zayn’s back to pull him closer, their chest and crotches touching. The kiss had started off nice and slow but eventually started getting heated up.

Both Zayn and Liam could feel Niall’s stare at them, and Zayn being the jealous person that he was, grinded against Liam, making him moan and used that time to jam his tongue into his mouth. They started moving along each other, trying to keep to the beat of the music, while making out.

Suddenly Liam and Zayn heard a loud smack. They broke the kiss to see Niall stomping off the direction to the door, his glass of beer on the counter where he smacked it.

Zayn was smirking when he turned his attention back to Liam. “Wow, so I get to kiss you and anger your ex? Moving here never seemed like such a good idea.”

Liam didn’t reply, just duck down to connect their lips to each other one last time.

—

“You sure, Li? I don’t mind driving you.” Louis persisted.

Liam shook his head. “No Lou it’s fine. I don’t mind walking, it’s close. Just go home and check on Harry.” Louis and Harry had gotten here late, like usual, and Harry didn’t waist a precious minute. He was drunk out of his mind and Zayn had to leave early and drive him home before he did any other stupid, drunken acts.

“Okay then. But text me when you get home yeah?”

Liam rolled his eyes. “Yes mother.” Louis hit his head slightly. He pulled him into a hug. Liam was going to pull back when Louis whispered in his ear.

“And I don’t want to see any new cuts tomorrow okay Li?”

Liam pulled out of the hug. He saw Louis stern, concerned look and nodded his head, feeling as though he can actually keep that promise for once. “Okay Lou. I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?”

Louis nodded before giving Liam one last hug and letting him step out onto the crisp, cold air. A smile was planted on Liam’s face and he was humming the way home.

He was crossing an alley when he was suddenly pulled into it, a hand on his mouth to prevent him from making a noise. He squirmed but was unable to step out of the hold. He was hauled over behind a dumpster. When he looked up he was met with the cold, distant eyes he had thought he had gotten over.

Until today at least.

“What the hell, Niall?” Liam said. He tried to get up when Niall sent a punch straight to his gut. Liam bent down when the pain shot through.

“I didn’t tell you to talk now did I?” Niall sneered.

Liam looked up and stared at his bloodshot eyes. “Are you drunk?”

“What’s it to you?” Liam was about to answer when Niall kicked Liam in the shin, causing him to fall on the floor. He sent another kick to his stomach. “I didn’t bring you here to have a conversation Liam. I brought you here to warn you.” Niall bent down and took hold on Liam’s face, cupping his chin a little too strongly. “Stay away from Zayn.” He spat.

Although in pain, Liam laughed slightly. “You can’t control me Niall. Or Zayn. Not anymore.”

Niall arched his eyebrows in challenge. He pulled his hand back and threw a punch to Liam’s face. Liam’s eye hurt, sure he would have a black eye tomorrow, and his nose felt broken. Blood started dripping down, from his nose or mouth; he wasn’t sure. Niall sent another kick to Liam’s stomach.

“I think we both know I can make you do anything if I wanted to.” Niall pulled on Liam’s sleeve to haul him off, but ended up ripping it. Liam didn’t have time to let that synch in until Niall had a strong hold on Liam’s arm and was laughing in his face. “What’s this? Are you self-harming Liam? Really?”

Liam’s eyes flew opened as he noticed the faint scars on his arm that Niall was talking about. He pulled his arm away abruptly but Niall used that time to nail another hit to Liam’s stomach.

“I didn’t know that’s how low you had gotten Liam? All because you realized that I wasn’t what you wanted anymore? Or should I say you weren’t what I wanted?” Niall taunted at him. Although he was shorter than Liam, he stood over Liam as he was hunched over in pain. “Is that what happened Liam? You realize you aren’t as great of a person as you thought and you fall into this? What are you going to do when Zayn leaves you, huh? You do know he is right? I hope you know that. Zayn is gorgeous; like literally perfection. If you think he would settle for you than you are crazy.” He jabs his stomach again, the blood definitely making its way from his mouth now. “Just leave him alone Liam. He’s going to leave you when he realizes you’re just a whimpy freak who cuts himself. Just like I did.” Another jab is sent to Liam’s stomach and it has him on the floor. Niall bends down and whispers in his ear. “Leave him alone because either he’ll leave you or I’ll make sure he leaves you.”

Niall spat on Liam before walking away, hands in his pockets and his head held high.

Liam was left on floor, head pounding and blood pouring out of his face. The words Niall said played through his head like a broken record as he pulled himself to his feet and dragged his beat up body home. He made his way inside and instead of heading to his bed, he went straight to the bathroom and sat himself in his tub.

The insults were still playing through Liam’s head and although he knew it made no sense, he couldn’t help but dig the razor deeper into his old scars. Knowing he broke Louis’ promise only made his guilt grow and the cuts get redder and redder.


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am deeply sorry it took me longer to update this chapter. I was kind of in a rut with this story and where the chapters are going and what happening in them and everything. I hope you guys like this one. The next one will continue from this point and will be updated sooner than this one. :P  
> Feedback is always appreciated. xx

** Chapter 6 **

Zayn was worried. Liam was never late. Well, never late without advising anyone. He would call or inform someone when he thought he was going to be late, even if it was for only a minute. But so far it has been twenty minutes and still no sign of Liam.

“Hey son,” Harry called out as he passed the hallway and saw Zayn waiting outside of Liam’s room. “What are you doing out here?”

Zayn scratched the back of his neck. “Liam isn’t here yet.”

Harry’s eyebrows shot up. “Liam? Liam Payne?”

“I know!” Zayn exclaimed.

Harry nodded. He pulled out his keys and opened Liam’s door, signaling for Zayn to follow. He took a seat on the desk and fished out his phone from his pocket to dial Louis. Zayn was waiting patiently on the couch when he heard the ringing on the other end stop. Sadly, he was only able to hear Harry’s part of the conversation.

“ _Hey baby. No, I’m fine. I was wondering though have you talked to Liam? Well simply because it’s been almost half an hour since work started and he still hasn’t shown. Yes, Liam Payne. No, he hasn’t called at all. Okay, will do. Thanks babe. Love you.”_

Harry turned to face Zayn, who was sitting perched at the edge of his seat. “Lou says he hasn’t talked to him since the club yesterday. Liam never texted him when he got home. He said we should call him to see if he answers. If he doesn’t then Lou will go to his house during his lunch break and see if he’s there.” Zayn nods. “I think you should call him. He’ll probably be happier to answer if it’s you.”

Zayn blushed but nodded anyways, pulling out his phone from his pocket. Harry slipped out of the office, giving Zayn the privacy he needed. Zayn got up and paced as he dialed Liam's number.

It rang a couple times before going straight to voicemail. He ended the call and tried it again. He was about to hang up when a faint voice picked up.

“ _Hello?”_

Zayn sighed in relief. “Liam? Hey it’s me Zayn.”

“ _Yeah I know. I have caller ID.”_

Zayn was taken aback at the almost harsh tone in Liam’s voice. “Oh. Umm, right. Well, I was calling because we’re all kind of worried about you-“

Liam snickered. “ _How sweet.”_

Zayn pretended like he was never interrupted. “Since you haven’t showed up to work today. Is everything okay?”

“ _Yes. I don’t have to tell you guys everything. What you’re going to want to know when I go to the bathroom as well?”_

“Liam, what has gotten into you? We were just worried because you hadn’t talked to anyone. Louis said you never texted him after you got home.

“ _Louis is not my mother.”_

“Well yeah but you promised you would. And you never forget or break your promises.”

Liam’s voice hitched. Zayn didn’t even have time to ask because Liam answered, with venom audible in his voice. “ _Just leave me alone Zayn. It’s not like you even know me.”_

Zayn felt a crack in his heart. “Excuse me?”

“ _You heard me.”_ Liam sneered.

“You didn't seem to be complaining yesterday when you were kissing me.” Zayn said defensively.

“ _Yeah well not everything is very thought through, huh?”_

Zayn could feel the stinging in his eyes and the cracks his heart kept forming as Liam talked. The venom in his voice was hurting him. This was not the Liam he had fallen for. He had fallen for a smart, kind, loving Liam who could only put other’s first. Now he was this malicious, man who was spewing words at Zayn, crushing him on purpose.

“I’m sorry I’ve been a bother to you Liam. I’ll leave you alone then.”  Liam could hear the pain in Zayn’s voice. He could feel the cracks being formed with his words, as they were being mirrored in his own heart. He wanted to apologize, he wanted to tell Zayn to wait and explain to him what happened; why he can’t think straight, yet he can’t. He can’t let Zayn into that part of his world because he’ll see the mess up he is and leave him; just like Niall. No. It’s easier this way; hurt Zayn so he thinks Liam is the biggest asshole in the world and forget him, because Niall was right, Zayn could do _way_ better than the dumb fuckup that is Liam.

“I’ll tell Louis you’re alive. He’s worried sick. We all are.”

_Click_

Both Liam and Zayn stare at phone, wondering what happen to the person who was on the other line. Liam knows Zayn said ' _are'_ instead of ' _were'._ He isn’t giving up on Liam so easily and Liam wishes is that he would.

He doesn’t want to acknowledge the little part in the back of his mind that tells him just how lucky it is that Zayn still does care.

\--

_Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock._

Liam sighed and rubbed his temple. He was sitting in his living room with his blanket over him, even though it was pretty warm, and his Ipod in shuffle.

_Knock._ Liam groaned.

“Liam open up already! I know you’re in there.”

Louis had been knocking for the last three minutes. Although Liam felt rude not opening it, he couldn’t bear to see anyone right now. He wanted to be alone.

But Louis wouldn’t let him apparently.

He was waiting for another knock when instead he thought he heard hush whispering. He was about to give in and go open the door. He tried to get up but his arms and legs felt sore from the cuts he had made and he just had no energy, so plumped back down on his coach. Suddenly he heard jingling of keys and cursed himself for ever giving Louis a key for emergencies.

Louis pulled the door opened and stood in the doorway, arms crossed and staring angrily at Liam. “I knew you were in here you jerk.”

Liam just sighed and sunk lower on his couch, letting the blanket cover part of his chest.

Louis walked closer and sat by Liam. “What the hell is going on with you Liam? And why the hell do you have a black eye!?”

“Nothing,” Liam mumbled.

Louis snickered. He took hold of Liam’s legs to put over his lap, that way he was closer to Liam. However when his grip was on Liam’s legs, Liam hissed out of pain from the interaction between his flesh and Louis. Louis realized and gave Liam a weird look. His stared went from Liam’s face to his legs until he understood.

He sighed and pressed his fingers to the top of the blanket. Liam sensed it and with panic, used his strength to fight Louis. Louis gave him a look; one that Liam knew all too well and called the “don’t fuck with me Liam, I’m serious and I will win” look and with a broken sigh, closed his eyes and let Louis pull the blanket down and off his body, revealing Liam’s bare legs and arms, cuts decorating in zigzags all around.

Liam heard Louis’ loud sigh which only made Liam feel the pounds of disappointment on him.

“Oh, Li,” Louis started.

Liam groaned, putting his head in his hands. “I don’t need your fucking pity Lou.”

“Liam! You know that out of everything and everyone, I am the _least_ person to pity you. That doesn’t change the fact that I can be worried about you. I mean Li, I understand what you do and why but _this,”_ Louis says, gesturing to his legs and arms, “is the worst it has ever gotten.” He uses his hands to pull Liam’s head out, cupping his chin and looking him straight in the eyes. “What happened?” He asks softly.

Liam wishes he could lie because he doesn’t even know how to explain what happened. What happened? He understood his failure in life when it was presented to his face. How do you explain that to someone so they understand?

But if there is anyone in the entire world who Liam would at least _try_ to explain his mess to, it would be Louis. So with a sigh he told him everything that happened the night before.

Other than the emotions presented on Louis’ face while Liam talked; happiness with Zayn, anger with Niall, and then sadness with Zayn, he remained quiet.

After telling him everything, both men huffed out a breath.

“Li,” Louis started, “you know Niall is a piece of shit and you shouldn’t let him get to you.”

Liam shrugged. “I know but I can’t help it. He’s right.”

“No he isn’t Liam! You know what he said, he said out of anger and jealousy. He is one of the lowest people I know and do not let him tell you you are one of them, because you’re not.” Liam didn't say anything. He didn't believe it himself but he knew arguing with Louis would be stupid because he wouldn’t win. “Now, about Zayn, I’m sorry Li but you have to tell him.”

Liam shook his head. “No Louis, I’m not telling him anything.”

“Liam you hurt him. When he called me to tell me he had reached you he sounded so distant and sad and Harry told me he thought he heard him crying. He isn’t giving up on you and you better give him a reason to not to.”

“But he should just give up.” Liam whispered.

Louis smacked him lightly. “No he shouldn’t because you don’t want him to.” When Liam doesn’t answer Louis continues. “You were a dick to him and now it’s up to you to fix it.” He leans down and plants a lingering kiss on both of Liam’s legs before pulling them out of his lap and standing up. “Zayn is coming over in about an hour because he wanted to see if you were okay. I knew you probably wouldn’t listen to me so I brought someone who I hope you will listen to.

Louis opened the door and motioned with his hand for said person to come in.

Heels click on Liam’s wood floor and when Liam looks up, Leslie is standing there in front of him, smiling fondly. “Hi Liam.”


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here’s chapter 7 you guys. Sorry if it took long. I’m not entirely happy about this chapter but I’ve just spent the last couple of days staring at it, so that didnt do much. I think there is going anything between one and three chapters left. I havent decided yet. I think most likely it’ll be two but like I said still unsure. After that I have a chapter prompt im going to work on and my own idea fic so you’ll get more stuff. :P
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy. :)

** Chapter 7 **

Liam sat up quickly, making sure he was properly on the couch and brought his legs to his chest. “Leslie!? What are you doing here?”

Before she could answer, Louis interrupted. “I called her. I knew something was wrong and you’ve been hiding so long, I didn’t know what else to do. Figured if you wouldn’t listen to me, the only person who you might would be her.” He leant down and gave Liam a kiss on the forehead, then turned to face Leslie. “I have to head out. Zayn we’ll be over soon. Please talk to him and work any kind of magic you can. I appreciate it. Call me if you need anything.” Leslie nodded and gave him a thumbs up. Louis smiled and walked out the door, leaving Leslie and Liam alone.

Leslie stood in front of Liam until his manners finally came back to him.

“Sit down Les.” He told her, motioning to the seat Louis had been occupying. “Can I get you anything?”

“Tea would be lovely, if it’s not too much of a bother.” She said as she sat down.

Liam smiled and went to the kitchen, boiling some water for the tea. After finishing them up, he walked with them back to the living room, where Leslie was looking around. She smiled at him when he came back, her eyes looking down at his legs showing through his shorts, but never showing any emotion. He handed her the tea and sat down, taking a sip of it.

They sat in a bit of silence, before Leslie broke it.

She sat her cup down on the coffee table in front of them and turned to face Liam. She stared at him for a bit before finally asking, “So Li, want to tell me what’s going on?”

Liam chuckled, memories of his first encounter with Leslie coming back to mind.

Leslie smiled at him. “Sorry, I’m not used to been the therapist in these situations so I thought I might as well start from what I know.”

Liam nodded. “You’re doing well so far.” He said chuckling.

Leslie just smiled before fixing her face into seriousness. She rested her hand on Liam’s leg. “Really Li, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t give me any of that bullshit.” Leslie snorted. “That’s crap and you know it.”

Liam shrugged. “It could be nothing.”

“Hun, these scars and that black eye you have there tell a different story.”

Liam sighed, unsure on what to do next. He didn’t want to tell Leslie anything. He had worked so hard at keeping this life of his private. Yet, he also wanted to tell her. He wanted to get it out of his chest and finally get some help. His mind was at a tug of war with itself and it just brought him to so much more confusion.

Leslie could see his dilemma and used her hand on his leg to rub back and forth, right under the scars. Liam felt his leg tingling and he urged to push her hand away. But it was also kind of comforting the way she was purposely missing touching the cuts, like she needed permission to get into Liam’s personal secret. Or maybe she was doing it because she knew the guilt that engulfed you when someone touched your biggest regrets.

She _knew._

Liam looked at her and decided to tell her. If there was anyone who would listen to him and let him explain and not take pity or give meaningless advice, but actually _help_ him with ways to deal with it, it would be her because she knew what it was like to be on the other side.

Liam sighed. “Everything.” When she gave him a look, he continued. “Everything is wrong.” Leslie nodded but didn't say anything, urging Liam to continue. He brought his legs to his chest, his arms wrapping around them protectively. He looked at his hands, intertwined at his calf. Looking down, he told Leslie about his life; nothing in full detail, but enough for her to get the drift of his mind.

“And when Niall beat up, he just spewed things at me on how I wasn’t worth it and how Zayn would never fall for me or stay with me for that matter. When he saw my scars he just laughed and said I was a big fuckup and didn’t deserve love and everyone is going to leave me and he’s right because they always do and-“ Liam stopped, needing air from just spewing his whole life.

Leslie cut him off before he could say any more nonsense. “Liam, I’m going to ask you some things. First of all, how long have you been friends with Louis?”

Liam shrugged, unsure on how he was relevant to his help. “I don’t know, forever? Is that an appropriate answer?”

Leslie smiled. “If he’s been your friend since forever, than both Niall and you are wrong; not everyone leaves you.”

“That’s just one person.”

“What about your family? You said your mom knows right?” Leslie questioned. “She could of disowned you when you came out or admitted to her about self-harming, but she didn’t, she kept helping you. And Harry hasn’t left you either. You guys were friends before him and Louis got together, so you can’t say he’s just being with you because of him. And we might not be in best friend terms Liam, but I’d like to think I’m more than just one of your clients.” The last part Leslie whispered, her eyes showing a hint of shyness.

Liam smiled and reached his hand forward to take hold of her hand in his own. “Of course. I’ve always thought of us as friends. You’re very special to me, Les. I appreciate you coming here and trying to help.”

Leslie shrugged. “You’ve helped me so much, I can at least return the favor.” She smiled at Liam again before returning back to business. “Liam, you can’t let Niall push you around anymore. If he left, it’s his own fault. He is the one who changed and became unstable in your relationship; you had nothing to do with it. He is looking for an escape goat; someone he can put his faults on to make himself feel better. The fact that you stayed with him shows how nice you are Liam. And if he is hurting you, saying you are worthless, well that’s just stupid because it makes him a hypocrite. Don’t let him get to your head and mess with you; that’s what he wants. He wants to be in control and have an impact on your life. You have to show him he can’t do that. I’m not saying you should go and fight him back. But if you happen to run into him again, ignore him. Don’t let him try to get your attention. It might not be easy to do but it’s what’s best. If you think you can’t do it, then leave the situation you’re in. It won’t make you a coward, it’ll make you careful.”

Liam sighed but nodded, saving her advice in the back of his mind.

“As for Zayn,” Leslie started, “Louis is right, you’re going to have to tell him.”

Liam was already shaking his head before she finished her sentence. ‘No Les, I can’t.”

“Why not Li? Give me one good reason.”

“Because he won’t like me.” Liam stated.

Leslie snorted. “Bullshit Liam. It seems obvious he’s already interested by his moves and smoothness in flirting with you. Now, give me a _good_ reason.”

Liam didn’t answer at first, unsure if he should be honest or not. Before he could stop himself, his mouth moved with its own accord. “He is going to think something is wrong with me.”

Leslie sighed, scooting closer to Liam until their bodies were next to each other. She wrapped her arm around Liam’s shoulder and pushed him down so he could turn around and lay his head on her lap. She ran her finger through his hair, making Liam purr slightly. She chuckled but kept doing it. “Liam, being depressed and self-harming isn’t a disease. You know who told me that?” She asked.

Liam shook his head.

“You silly.” She answered, causing Liam to blush. “It really isn’t. The first thing you have to do is stop judging yourself for it. Cutting is not a good thing to do Liam; that being as obvious as anything. However, if it does happen, that doesn’t mean you are different. You had a bad patch in your life and you needed that escape. He has to understand that to even be worthy of being with you. If he does, then you know he’s a keeper. Zayn’s a therapist; he knows how to deal with this. It’s not like he will leave you deserted. He’ll probably try to help you in his own way. That’s something very great about someone. If you tell him you’re interested in him, then that’s the part that you would have to talk about, but I’m sure you self-harming won’t be a deal breaker. You’re a great guy Liam, and I can tell Zayn knows that.”

Liam stayed silent, taking in all of Leslie’s words. He didn't know if he agreed with her or not but it was nice knowing she thought Liam wasn’t completely broken.

“Did I tell you I’m seeing someone now?” She asks, breaking the silence.

Liam looks at her with wide eyes. “No! Wow, congratulations.”

Leslie smiles. “Thank you. His name is Peter. I met him when I was 14. We were both barely entering high school. I had this like secret crush on him but we never talked much. He ended up moving about three months into the year and I easily forgot about him. Then, about two months ago, I was working at Starbucks, and this guy came in. I thought he was one of the most gorgeous guys I had ever seen in my life. I started talking to him and he was flirting with me. He told me his name was Peter and asked me out. I said no. I was still working on myself and I didn’t think I was ready to date just yet. Surprisingly, he didn't question me. He just said it was okay. He came in everyday after that and spent my break with me there, just eating and talking. I found out it was the same Peter who went to my school. When he asked me out, after about a month of just hanging out, I finally said yes. We went out about five times every week for two weeks. Then, when it was my anniversary of not cutting, he wanted to see me. I was a little on edge because of the day. He ended up coming to my house anyways and when he saw me sitting in my room, he came to me and asked me what was wrong. I decided to just throw caution to the wind and tell him everything. And you know what he did?”

Liam didn’t say anything, encouraging Leslie to continue.

“He hugged me, tight as I have ever been held and started crying. At first I thought he was disgusted at me and was crying at the disappointment I had caused him. However, he ended up saying to me, “I wish I could’ve been there for you all those times, holding your hand, and telling you how great you are and how much of the world you deserve.”. He didn’t judge me Liam. He was sorry for I went through. He didn’t pity my actions though, he was sad and angered at what I went through. That’s when I knew he was worth it. But more importantly, that I’m worth it.

“What I’m saying Li, is you can’t stay inside your shell for so long. You need to tell Zayn so you can now if he’s the one or not. So you can now if he’s worth it for you.”

Liam sighed, unsure on what to respond. A knock on the door saved him however.

“Come in!” Liam yelled, not wanting to leave his comfy embrace.

The doorknob turned and slowly, Zayn’s head popped through the door. He took in the sight of Liam and Leslie as he came fully inside, his hand still on the knob. “Hi Liam. Hi Leslie.”

Leslie smiled. “Hi Zayn. Great to see you again.” She looked down at Liam and rubbed his head once more. “I’ll leave you guys alone. Remember what we talked about Liam okay?” Liam nodded. “Call me later, or whenever, if you need to talk okay buddy?” Liam smiled and nodded again.

Leslie mirrored his smile and kissed his forehead. She used her hands to lift his face from her lap and stood up. She dusted up for pants before making her way to the door. She stopped in front of Zayn and whispered something to him, which Liam was unable to respond to.

Zayn nodded to whatever Leslie told him and she beamed at him, patting his shoulder before leaving out the door, leaving Liam and Zayn alone.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU. Liam is tired of his past and letting Niall interfere with his life; only bringing him hurt. When he is made to inter and show the ropes to his boss’ son, Zayn Malik, he thinks he found a new friend and can finally be happy. But somehow, Niall still finds his way back to his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here’s the last chapter you guys! I know this is kind of like a sucky way to end? but I just didn’t really feel like writing another heart to heart with Liam. I think all of you know how it goes and the epilogue pretty much summarizes it. I hope you guys like it well enough and thank you for all the support I have gotten, here and in AO3. Love you guys and hope you all read my next fics. ;) <33

** Chapter 8 **

The silence that had engulfed them since Leslie left seemed to grow more and more awkward.

Liam cleared his throat, hoping to get a response from Zayn. However Zayn just stood by the door, studying Liam with an unreadable expression.

“Umm, would you like to sit?” Liam finally asked in a small voice.

Zayn just watch him for a little longer before slowly walking to the couch. He sat on the other end of the couch and Liam forced himself to not reach for him. Seeming as his thoughts were going the same way, Zayn shimmied his way until his shoulder was pressed by Liam’s side. He turned his face and kept his gaze locked towards Liam.

Liam felt uncomfortable under Zayn’s studying gaze and shifted to the side a bit. “So umm, why-“

“You know why I’m here Li.” Zayn interrupted, guessing Liam’s question.

Liam blushed and dropped his gaze. “Right. I guess I should, umm, explain?” Zayn didn’t reply. “I don’t really know, like, what? Or how?” Liam whispered.

Zayn sighed and finally dropped his stare from Liam. He rubbed a hand on his face and when he looked back at Liam, his expression was softer.

“How about you just start at the beginning?” He said, gesturing toward where the cuts framed his legs.

Liam realized how open they were and pulled his legs to cross them under him. However, Zayn shook his head and took hold of Liam’s ankles, pulling them over his lap. He put his hand across his ankles and the other across his knees, making sure not to apply pressure to his scars. He scooted closer so he and Liam were pressed together, Liam almost sitting on him. He draped an arm to rest on Liam’s shoulders and Liam dropped his head to nuzzle it in Zayn’s neck. Zayn placed a kiss on Liam hair and rubbed his hand up and down Liam’s back, encouraging him to talk.

So he did.

He sighed and explained to Zayn his story. He told him everything he told Leslie; everything he told Louis and Harry and his mother. He was letting Zayn into his little circle and although he was scared, he was so happy as well. He was scared to have his feelings out; feeling so exposed, and having Zayn judge him. He didn’t want Zayn to leave him.

But he was also happy. If Zayn was really the one and their feelings were really great, than it shouldn’t matter. Zayn should accept him the way he was because that’s the only way he could have him; with all his burdens.

A Dr. Seuss poem came to his mind:  _be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind._

This would be the ultimate test and he knew it.

—-

**Epilogue**

“Liam! Hurry up babe, we’re going to be late!”

Liam came rushing out of his room, his coat halfway on. He smiled and walked towards Zayn, kissing him on the lips. “I’m here Zee, gosh relax would ya?”

Zayn smiled and wrapped an arm around Liam’s waist, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.

Liam giggled against Zayn’s lips. “I thought you said we were going to be late?”

Zayn sighed, pulling his face away from Liam. “Yeah, I know.” He took hold of Liam’s hand, intertwining their fingers as he walked out.

About 10 minutes later, Zayn and Liam were walking inside the old bar where they first met. They walked towards the bar, shimmied their way through all the crashing bodies on the dance floor.

“Les!” Liam called out, when he caught a glimpse of Leslie and Peter at the bar. Leslie turned around and waved at them, motioning them with her head to go over.

“Hi Liam. Hi Zayn.” Peter said when they reached them. He shook each of their hands before dropping it back to lace around Leslie’s.

“Hey Peter. How you been man?” Zayn asked, starting conversation with him.

Liam turned and faced Leslie. “Hi Les. How’ve you been?”

Leslie chuckled. “Li, we saw each other like five days ago.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Leslie smiled fondly. “I’m good. How about you? How is everything going?”

Liam sighed. “It’s going well. It’s been hard to manage work with my own therapy but it’s easier now. I’m happy.” Liam said, smiling genuinely. After he had talked with Leslie and Zayn, he knew that it was time to change. If they both went through such big measures to help him with his problem, he knew he had to try something. When Zayn suggested he go see someone for therapy, he had thought the idea was so stupid. He saw no point in that and was convinced it wouldn’t work. But when he realized that it worked for Leslie, he second thought his decision and started going to his own lessons twice a week.

And so far, he hadn’t cut for a whole two weeks, which was a major step forward for him.

“Babe,” Zayn turned his attention back to Liam, “want to go dance?”

“Sure.” Liam said. He excused himself from Peter and Leslie and let Zayn guide him onto the dance floor. The amount of people made Zayn press him and Liam close but Liam didn’t mind. He wrapped his arms around Zayn’s neck and pushed his face closer so their foreheads were touching.

“Hi.” Zayn chuckled, air blowing softly on Liam’s face.

Liam looked over to the bar when a movement caught his face. Louis and Harry had just walked in and jumped into Leslie’s personal space, causing her and Peter’s face to scrunch up in delight.

Liam smiled and looked back at the gorgeous, wonderful man in his arms and he couldn’t help but smile even bigger.

“Hi.” He said before crashing his lips onto Zayn’s in a sweet, loving kiss that he hoped showed the emotion that was overpowering him right now.

_Happiness._


End file.
